Why am I?

I don’t know myself, what am I doing I’m best on doing what I really do, I loose I’m, whatever, I think I am, and I really exist No offence for whatever, I think I really am. Puppets stand, offshore, staring at me and I stoned Frozen summer into melting snows of hope Masked under a mask of what you really aren’t And the Valentines of 2009, rust you in pieces Don’t know who you really are to me, my life I, solid bones into lump of flesh, a heart and a mind Blackout! Watch back before you creep a step up Backlash and panting, fighting for nothing...

SECRETS TO KEEP!!!

(The following work is completely and solely the asset of the writer. Public use, copying and using any portion of this work without the consent of the writer is a punishable offence and is violation of prevailing laws and rules. If found so, the writer has all the rights to sue or present it to the court of law. Detailed information is posted in his blog www.sucidal-langoor.blogspot.com, or can be viewed in this personal web page through http://www.realtimesucidal.tk) SECRETS TO KEEP!!! The morning started with rain. He was in the kitchen...

Last whiskey sip!

Oh! Won’t you help me drink? The last whiskey sip Coz I cant raise my hand And it’s too fragile to pick The glass is empty, just one sip due. My home too far away, my friend is new. Oh! Won’t you help me drink? The last whiskey sip Red whiskey blended to white wine I drop my wallet somewhere, friend would you pay mine? The night is clear with white moon and stars My veins pumping liquor, heart so far away Oh! Won’t you help me drink? The last whiskey sip I’m missing her madly, alone as I am And she’s counting stars, finding me there And all I...

LOVE IS LUST I GUESS!!!!

To love some one is hard When you are bound by barriers To tell her is even much harder When she is haunted by devils All around her She is an angel of mercy She’s got herself entangled Into the pace of time and tide Bound within tears that she can’t hide But cries into darkness I wish to be the invader of her sorrows But who knows tomorrow, That will surely made me mad, may be dead I wish to tell her but time runs faster Than I creep When the music is over I saw her face When the music’s on I find her on the tunes When the sun shades into clouds...

Where'd you go?

WHY DOTH THEE HAVE TO GO? WHY DOTH I HAVE TO SLAY MYSELF? A BLUNT KNIFE WONT HEAL MY HEART WHY DOTH THEE HAVE TO GO? WHY THE SUN DOTH HIDES IN CLOUDS? WHY DOTH THE MOON CRIES AS DEW? A MOIST EYE WIPED WITH ACID RAIN. WHY THE SUN DOTH HIDES IN CLOUDS? WHY DOTH THEE ANSWER MY QUESTION? IS IT I CRY? THE ANSWER THEE HAVE FOR ME. A LIFE SACRIFICED TO ENDULDGE YOUR ONE. WHY DOTH THEE SOAK UP YOUR EYES? CAN THEE PROTECT THY HAPPINESS? IF I’M SIX FEET UNDER GROUND, CAN THEE SMILE LIKE YOU USED TO BE? WHY DOTH THEE BE AS THEE USED TO BE? DON’T SMILE...

I SHALL BE

Vintage on betrayal, fool as I shall be Remorse, that’s you on to me Each ground I walk, land mines locked May be a future I might never see I’ve been trying to kill my feelings Walking a thousand miles, barefoot on thorns With just some scanty blood, I just stealing death Roaming around my minds, into empty horns I might live, if you see me choking to death Revenge to me with no fault I have to see I wonder why? Why you always have to be gone? Why? May be you just loved me to see me die. Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-l...

POEM IN NEPALI

Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

poem in nepali

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PSYSCHIC PANOROMA

Under water fall the god is bleeding From all his veins tonight Under deep blue sea the seahorse is riding A ball of fire tonight Under crescent moon the raven of love is howling Just to start a fight tonight That’s all under the moon a sober Drunk to immortal death besides a hollow tide tonight Under water fall the lords of love are bleeding From all their veins tonight Under subconscious mind a monkey of grief Is jumping to start over to end his life tonight Under chill cold summer avalanche The broken one is buried into the mass of snow tonight Under...

PRAYERS

Every song reminds me of my love, like always Every song relates me to those moments, like I’m drowned When I breathe, every air reminds me of what she owe me Every day reminds me of my life when I tried so hard and I fail What stories this story possesses? Me alongside Longing for the sun to shine on me some day I travail to smile, she ruptured my bleeding lips I gave up smiling; she crushed my heart gently into a crusher machine Now the heart is broken, yet it prays for you only Now minds are vacant, yet they think of you only Now this life...

VENGENCE

She mumbled at night with rage that strung her head It’s been a hectic day to revenge though I could smile But no, a day wasted without revenge and canopy covered smile Yes, carry on in your head. A princess to turn me beheaded She mumbled my revered life with a knife of hollow love And gestured my heart clinching her fist all at once and cloned And the midnight mare ruined the eyes. Yes red eye cried alone And banged her knee to my memories, evoking all I would have gained A queen of light, far beyond imagination, provoked him to die A coffin...

SHE LEFT

She left him when he needed her the most. That’s why he was silent. Silence is the greatest pain to mankind and is mostly dangerous and fatal to the weaker ones. He was weak. And some day he tried to commit suicide. And he failed for four times. Now he is on the run for the final one and he’s sure he won’t fail this time. He knew how to commit a successful suicide. He’s got a bottle of poison always with him. He’s started the habit to drinking alcohol. And he’s developed a habit of being fearless, not at least to die. Now he doesn’t feel pity for...

MEMORIES

Suffocation ablaze in thy heart ruptured yet beating Blur images soaked into summer rain just cheating Mesmerizing into minds running bleating numb and pleading I’m just sitting in my body waiting for my soul to fly away I am who I am knows not what I can be to I am And I learn what I learn all about learning nature Yet I can be who I should’ve been, not who I must be I’m just waiting in the earth, when no one walks out alive This world is living hell. Heaven I’ll see as I die Honesty and decency for love with purity Led to a hallow nightmare...

GOD IN MESS

1. There he was, standing on a stairway of a holy temple. He was deeply mourned by his past and present was entangled into the memories that often made him cry. It was early, so early morning that the doors of the holy temple were not even opened. He said “God, today it’s gonna be the worse day for you coz your first encounter is a mess with all life cursed.” When he looked at the sky, he could even see the full bright moon and tiny stars twinkling at their pride. Feels like they were so happy and when he looked at them for a long time they just...

A COMPLETE STRANGER

When a stranger is strange, don’t look into his eyes Those eyes red as blood just staring at minds And when a friend is a stranger……………….. Nothing looks alright, tits and bits of words Just scatter now and then with no reason to smile As you pass by, a complete stranger is never strange Words flow like ‘The Niagara Falls’, a million of those And some fly in the atmosphere of moisture And some scanty, once in blue moon, eyes And as you stop working on your minds alone Then once more to a complete stranger, you just vacant I think I’m a complete...

VAUGE IMAGINATION

I set a fire between the dusts The morning sun drinks from the stars I set a question on into my sky Soft ray glossy bay enchanted dreams, laugh out alright Oh! How I wonder an alter monsoon Be light the dark into a well as dungeon Deep down I smile as a cupid just in chains Rumors all strikes into my head, decisive Oh no what’s this? I caught into the spider web Could I be found into these dreams? How I could run like I fly to the air And show thee what it like is to be A handful heart full of gold Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. ...

I WANT TO GET LOST INTO THE WILDS

Change your name your identity Money makes people cautious So I don’t need money Laughter of satisfaction Gives me truth, blood is hunger and thirst Drunk and got no idea what for I want to get lost I’m trying myself, not to be found Violence we are forced to witness Oh! You are just a melting summer Money leads to blindness Into the dunes I fly Choose between the unchooseable Power is an illusion All is not well for hippie perimeter I echo into the wild It’s funny how funny things happen at a particular time A murderer of every day’s truth Work...

Smile

When you smile, an angel smiles, may it be a killing one When you talk, a nightingale sings, sometimes I howl alone When you walk, a drunken snake, each move curved into fantasy When you cry, an innocent baby does, each tear rare as pearl When I smile, an eagle’s shout, loud shrill and unclear seismic When I talk, a stone to the rock, sometimes once in a while When I walk, head down to ground with guilt, each move regret a step When I cry…, each night It’s meant for you When the wind whispers holding my mind to the pace When the sun shines, each...

Psychic Panoroma

Under water fall the god is bleeding From all his veins tonight Under deep blue sea the seahorse is riding A ball of fire tonight Under crescent moon the raven of love is howling Just to start a fight tonight That’s all under the moon a sober Drunk to immortal death besides a hollow tide tonight Under water fall the lords of love are bleeding From all their veins tonight Under subconscious mind a monkey of grief Is jumping to start over to end his life tonight Under chill cold summer avalanche The broken one is buried into the mass of snow tonight Under...

NIGHTMARE

Stone temple by a cemetery A crescent moon bleeding to the stars A naked tree scary as when the wind Howls into its bones Ruthless wind whistles by the ear And a shadow starts creeping Near to you as farther you go A racing heartbeat would bang With each whisper pass through the ear As the eyes starts to search where there’s no one Somebody please let me away through the path As when the winds laugh into my minds And a footstep follows me with no one behind I walk and run but why won’t this road end To the time where my life stats to fade I hear...

FADED LIFE

Raindrops keep falling in my head As I was creeping between the lines Blood droops keep falling to the ground As I was cutting my veins to bleed for your smiles Teardrops keeps falling down my eyes As I was lost into the memories of past Mere hope keep falling down my heart As I was sleepy into the death at last Pure prayer keeps falling down my lips As I was wiping down the love and grip Scanty life keeps falling to leap the death As true love keep failing down to my grave. Never ending nightmare keeps falling down to my dreams As each insomniac...

IT WILL BE YOURS

It will be yours what’s not. Why doth thee believe so? Tell my heart, why so determined My troubled heart, Is this love? Why doth thee live into my dreams? Tell it my heart, why you ask it to me? She is my way out, she is my goal She is my navy, she is my sea Tell it! How is this circumstance? Don’t know how far we’ve reached Walking into different ways My troubled heart, Is this love? . Why doth I always listen your stories? Someday these distances would lessen. You admire my heart, at your wish My wishes are sacrificed, no objections Why is this...

BE ADVISED

Why it hurts when you smile May be jealousy burns within, may be a closed file You won’t understand, where ever I may roam, can’t go home May be it’s about to end, I love you, if u can always welcome But be advised! It’s not for anyone else. Above us is sky; below me is some ground where I could stand In between I’m trapped into your vague memories that recall Now onwards I won’t recall them at all, keep yourself always firm The world is a mean place to be in, but my prayers will heal you all To get is a desire, wish to get you is pure yet dignified To...

AN ANNIVERSARY

AN ANNIVERSARY, To celebrate, With tears and pain, Agony and regret, Without smile and laughter, Guilt and prayers, Hope and dreams, Blood and memories!!! A vague and intense life, A cruel and hated god, With no or scattered aims, With prayers for future, To someone you love. For someone you’ll always love. What an anniversary? Day to remember, Forever in memories, A day to laugh out, Forever with fate, A day that disguise All emotions in tears, And last forever Till the day you die. Without knowing What went wrong? Nobody’s to tell Now onwards Life...

A DEAD WARRIOR

A dead warrior With a blunt sword In a war of immortals Yielding no blood Yet need to fight Just to stay Alive for a while, While life pass through And for the meantime A drought of blood in field Later, A flood of blood Flowing from all possible veins Hand cuff and chains Metal ball rolling in the ground As he walks with soldiers behind His ideology of war "A warrior with bare hands can conquer the whole world" Failed as he walks with weary head Fades as he's a war prisoner And rest his life would Remain besides bars in a dungeon Calling death...

DILEMMA

The state of complete dilemma Confusion of love, against friendship! Entangled with the eternal memories, last forever Memories that mesmerize my mind, each day or the other Happiness to one, tears for the other Victory of one, the loss to other's? Misty eyed with your thoughts, always moist and red Thoughts that made me numb, precisely paranoid, not to forget Nostalgic memories deep inside, absurd fellings Traced in my mind, forever just falling Dreams not to bloom again, shaded thoughts enchanted Seeds of hope all escaping...

“May be…………… Memories”

May be we are right And may be we are not May be I need you so And may be you need me not That was what I thought To my horror, I cried and screamed To my agony, I felt and dreamed To the kingdom of heaven, I’ll see you May be I’m just a faggot, I’ll be life’s due Second dream crushed before the first one Second stanza’s true, first is a hope And I’m in dilemma rather than you know May be I’m all wrong’ I’ll say before you go A candle, A PAPER, and smile on your face Unconditional happiness, I could feel loving race Now the candle is dead, “THE...

"Emptiness"

At night I hear a whisper that shouts And turns into darkness, screams aloud. And the sun that hides and mourns into rain And the blood that falls from eye with pain. The darkness that’s immense too dense and shallow The heart that’s lonely and the heart that’s hallow With each ounce of pain that tender a blunder And the devil that dances in victory’s surrender And the voices that echoes in gardener’s race Where all thy fellows they rest in peace Where an owl that fetch its prey in light And yours is mine, bloods thirsty divine. And I fetch...

Eternal pain

Eternal pain Uncharacterized Mind demise Unforeseen circumstances Grief and grace all comes in a bundle Sad departure of pretty teen mind Men’s aligned together On a single file procession Of an illegal Death of mine Brain dead Rumble, Merely emotions Come to an end. Out in a faraway land There rose no sign of hope No peace of mind…………………clashes Generally Deactivating………………..merchandising Extreme Emotions Jesus you are dead Jesus you are dead You have no right to lend me, A merciful fate Extra optimism Just ended in pessimists Generally, When it’s...

To Divinity

In the summer time when the moon drops Falls on roses Feels like fresh spiritual eternity When the chirping birds get their First worms enough Feels like motherly care Every moments rejoice the day On cool summer shade Feels like vanity sun Pink emotions that recalls Cool spring breeze And the sick Nirvana That surrenders in enchanting Blaze of supernova To divinity. Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

Rock Bottom

The number of beast Were in countdown To extinction When I was born in here The beauty of croc And the love of vulture That preys a decent meal And I say Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Rock Bottom Hell yeah!! Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

What If

The colors of life If ended in vain, What fantasy I might gain. Deep mourn will go away Extravagance of joy and pain On the way Where I used to walk Off goes the thorn Replaced with fame The colors of rain If dissolved in light What fantasy then You might gain Cold winter will go away Happiness of winter rain The road where I used to walk Glitter with all that shines The insight of an honest heart Will stay with a life, That’s mine. The colors of life If ended in rain What fantasy I might gain Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal...

"You"

The more I see its Darkness that hides With rage and regret And that crucify your thoughts And asks if ‘you’ can Free yourself from scavengers all around Whether love that ‘you’ need Or lust that ‘you’ want And rest with all Those disguise your feelings And chartered in to grief That surrenders…………….. Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

"Thank you"

Each day I thank god for all the pain he has given me Each day I thank god for all the sufferings he has given me Each day I thank god for all the hater he has for me I thank you a lot just show these days a bit more Almighty father what you’ve got for me is less than I deserve Give me something that you give to your hated ones Blow the stores of your extreme extremities on me And when it’s all over I’ll thank you again till the end Each day you hate me is the day I thank you a lot And if possible I will believe you someday Copyright ©&ⓟ....

"For the love of father"

Naked dreams, Covered by curtains And the crimson tide That’s high enough To drown all your dreams forever Ancient pictures, faces calling you Innocent killings Betrayal, Burning within the flames Shaded into fountain rain Let your dreams be free For the love of father Aim high, Live free, Said this idiot poet In sub consciousness To the mass of conscious philosophers Where the end comes to your funeral fire Live your dreams to your height Talk to your eternal spiritual divinity For the love of father No doves fly this day, Burning flames within...

Men

I see your face plain, Clear and trimmed But I can’t see The beast inside you I see you be kind and caring But I can’t see The killer attitude inside you I think a thousand times, If that’s you I see But I can’t think What you are up to I see no tales That tells we’re apart Yet, I see a sea With a drowning boat so far Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

Truth

Unleash the pain inside you Coz my friend your pain is medicine for someone Unleash the happiness in you Coz my friend your happiness is pain for someone Retarded soul can do nothing wrong Coz my friend in this world You won’t find any well-wishers And the well-wishers who is for real Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

“A warrior with bare hands can conquer the world”

I will set you free from scavengers all around I will safeguard your flesh from them Don’t feel pity for yourself I will set you free to your destiny Walk a step with me, you’ll know then “A warrior with bare hands can conquer the world” Feel your fear to your extreme limit, you’ll know Fear is mightier than tear that you shed everyday Say what you can set your fear free Coz scavengers don’t chew your flesh They gallop your fear with ounce of flesh Let go your fear, set yourself free, you’ll know Stare at your face each day to ask yourself Sadness...

ME

Wherever I may roam, I’ll always be myself Whatever I may do, I’ll never forgive myself Into an ocean I’m dropped as a pearl Ocean got a million pearls, how could any one find me Where bonds they detach with just a simple shock And the seismic waves to strike me times and again I got no chance and I got no choice May be god’s on war with me, just for a revenge And this day pass us, like the other one does And this time pass me by, like for no one it does It’s trying to break me into million pieces As for now I’m broken into just thousands Like...

DESTINY

A constant river flows down a deep gorge It’s destiny, just to reach a deep blue sea Hurdles as it pass by, destruction, sometimes Clinch down a million thirsty throats, passim At a border of mountain height, struggles and stare At the bank of plain, flows like a blanket of nature care To the stones, dare to overthrow, when I’m dared To the desert of null moisture, I’ll be a hope forever Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

MERE LIGHT

Short struggle Fading with failure Results in a long run pain Ruptured heart Why won’t it fade out? Keeps on burning ablaze Over and over again Fallen life running from its image Being long and deserted Intense hopelessness Touches inside myself Why? Heat’s burning. Today once again Fighting with the past I’m waiting a mere light Swallowing drug dark as night I’m unconscious in the crowd. I don’t know, I won’t understand Deep is the cut I’ll say nothing, talk nothing. My nights, insomniac I don’t know, I won’t understand Hollow are the peaks Today...

FRIENDSHIP

Friends they recall my memories within I could count on you like always something Some good day some good morning I’ll be with my old friend back home Some cool breeze same dusty air Would bring me back my same old days Back home I’ll be free just to be me Oh how I wish I could see those days soon May be tomorrow May be a sun of summer hope May be a chill autumn moon to shine so soon In a lounge of green leaves all around And a purple fire burning below the crescent moon And a grilled mutton barbeque incense in air A calm river by the side as...

NOTHINGNESS

I have nothing, nothingness inside me A weightless wrecked out creature I’m valued to none, nobody cares for me I am alone in a dungeon of hater and grace My face all scrambled, I, a total mess A word to talk with me is like Putting your face to ditch A rage to follow me and vengeance with me I am afraid, to talk. Coz when I talk I vomit fire, spikes and hooks I am afraid, to react Coz when I react, tears and agony pain and disgrace I’m scared, scared to be me Coz when I stare into life I collect laughter, vague ocean of sophisticated dreams Halted...

DEASSOCIATE LIFE

Bleeding patience in the sun Breeding passion in the dark Baking pride in the Legend’s glory Race of spikes in my veins Dense fog to cover your image Dense love to recover your pain Suicidal mentality haunts at night Euphoria that haunts my mind at first sight Moments pass by just like centuries Moments keep me alive to fight all Moments to bliss all life through Vacant would be it after all When nothing to loose nothing to hide And the time too vague and nothing’s all right I just stare at pictures days and night Just the memories, that’s all...

Imagination

If I was there could you ever paint my imagination? In rain could you separate my tears that I shed? In my smile could you find out what I was sad for? And when I say I’m happy could you see my agony? My imagination is vague, yet it indulge your spirit I am submerged into the vicious circle of life and death As anyone would be, this chain rolls on and always it goes on And when its over, it’s all could I survive till the end? Copyright ©&ⓟ. All rights reserved. sucidal-langoor.blogspot....

A Broken Hope

I broke down today When I had nothing I cried loud today When I just have tears no more Now these eyes are so vacant Clear with no legitimate moisture Abundant in hollowness A picture now days that just smile in my dreams I may be an alien rupturing thy dreams Each time that frightens me, your rapid love I may just end up, just falling alone Each time I think, it’s you in mind frames When the tornado came in that day It just blew away, my every thing And when I cried your name That just echoes to the mountain just alone I broke down twice the...

Lucky If You Survive

Hybrid terror of genetic disorder once to fix it rightA terrorist with a AK47 on the battlefield to fightNightmare gives visions to a deserted ocean of bloodGunpowder incense thick and strong to lure on board tonight Blood fresh and warm luring mahogny of intense thirst to killA metor strike on hope of thousands orphan building tears to fillA reason to strive hunger filled eyes pale and green looks too good?A sniper shot down a healthy heart, sploosh goes pinning your heart with skill Lucky if you survive once but theres no second chance at allRaven...

WORTHLESS SALE!!

She sold me, for just a couple of hundred grants I was sold and realized later I, a useless, got a price! She sold me for a pile of Benjamin that wasn’t hers And she lived in a bungalow, at St. Petersburg Ile On the Benz, classic 80’s Mc Loren and Fender she rocked And on his cemetery, she yield a cactus hooked round his head Never find death scary, scary like hooks round your head But when you die you ain’t got respect for classic ballad of Rock And when I write these songs I write with hooks down the spines And when I sing, I sing with blood...

“A reason to smile!!! Death”

When I die, shed no tears, I know you won’t A pain inside your mind revealed and fixed up Wished to be a pain in thy heart, I failed The pile of my funeral fire, light your life I died then, I was happy, just my death Put a gentle smile on your face I cried for nights to see that, It was easy, though couldn’t see it, alive Now! Nothing’s there to run, nothing’s to hide Stuck in your life, a sober, your tide Sometimes when I see you smile, from stars I cry then, it’s my tears, you take shower everyday When I die and nothing’s in the atmosphere My...

My Thougtts

When I first saw you I was afraid to talk to you When I first talked to you I was afraid to hold you When I first hold you I was afraid to love you Now that I have loved you I’m afraid to lose you And sometimes love hurts And if it doesn’t Then it's not love at all Hold on to your love Before they slip away Else you can never get them back And I died the day you left me I'm happy I lived for the time you loved me Until I was there I cried myself to sleep While I had you, I fell asleep with a gentle smile on my face Before I lost you I worried...

FINAL FANTASY

Being drunk at suicide point And being weary at your life I question myself a million times Is that what I loved you for? And ask you to set me free To this life for you and that’s me I put a hundred spades in my mind To dig out your memories filled Being honest I roamed in edge of time To battle all your fears and pain around I realize later I was the pain you had Is that what I should die for? For times I love and days I’ll love For life we should live in and dreams we should see I wish to be your dream that comes into reality And dance in...

WORDS

WORDS What it looks like is not always true. What it is is never what you expect it to be. Today I fall short of words that I used to play with. I’ve got nothing to be it. This bloody time is so very rude that is beat the shit out of me. People pretend to be happy but their internal esteem always shows off. I was desperately trying to be happy but I never tried to show off. It might not always but seems like only happiness in this world is money, status and power. I may not have it. But most of the times it made me so desperate that I could not...

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